I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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