haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize