my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
