i permit you to call me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
