I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
