yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
