Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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