I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
