Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
