I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do herpes really smell.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
