And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
