Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.

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(858): View more from California

the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.

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(815): View more from Illinois

It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..

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(+61): View more from Australia

They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.

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