there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize