Can Purell be used as lube?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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