it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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