im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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