My pussy is not your playground.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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