Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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