the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
