sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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