i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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