Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
