Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
