These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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