Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
