True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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