She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
