my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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