no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you traded sex for a burrito?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize
