Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
