well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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