My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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