I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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