Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
