Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
