was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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