I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
