Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
