is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
