the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
