It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize