yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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