Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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