real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
