The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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