Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
