no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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