Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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