Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
