Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
