Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
