I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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