"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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