I heard we made out
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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