It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
