and she was petting her beer can
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
