I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
