Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
