Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
