you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Randomize