You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
