Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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