kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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