Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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