Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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