awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
50% drunk capacity currently
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
