the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sext me about skeletons
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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